In Which Love Is Kind of a Bitch But Not Really
by Kyle Babeflovski
Summary: Wow how do I summary? Just your average High School Romance I guess. Rated M for Language, Style-centric, but may also include other pairings.
1. Chapter 1

You've fucked up bigtime now. You realize, as you reflect upon past thoughts that you really shouldn't have thought in the first place, much less now, as you walk to your almost certain demise.

At first you thought it was just a physical attraction to him. Most people go through that phase, right? He wasn't extremely muscular, but it was there; thanks to years of basketball. And he wasn't exactly unattractive either, despite what he thought. (That dumb list back when you were ten had really fucked him up.) As the weeks went by, you realized it wasn't just his body, it was him. Everything he did, from the way he pulled his hat down further on his head when he was nervous, to the way his eyes lit up when he was passionate about something.

Your name is Stan Marsh and you've accidentally fallen head over heels for your best friend. You aren't gay though. You've even got a girlfriend! A really smart, pretty girlfriend, who for some reason you aren't as in love with as you were a few years ago.

You feel like shit. This is unfair to your girlfriend and you know it. She has a right to know, and if you weren't dating she would be the first person you would go to about your Kyle dilemma. (Other than Kyle himself, but he's not an option for obvious reasons.) You know what you have to do, and you also know that you're going to feel like a dick for doing it, but seeing as how you feel like a dick now, you doubt it's going to be anything new.

You feel a shitstorm coming, you brace yourself for it and step forward.

"Wendy. We need to talk."

Wendy Testaburger looks up from her book and frowns at you.

"That's never a good phrase."

"Yeah, I know." Suddenly your shoelaces have become very interesting.

"Well there's no sense in prolonging it. What's wrong?"

"Thisisntworking." You spew out ungraciously, words running together.

"...What?"

"This isn't working. You and me. I just..."

"Stan."

"It's totally not you! It's all me!"

"Stan."

"Wow, that line is way overused holy shit."

"STAN!"

You whip around, and face your (ex?) girlfriend.

"Y-Yeah?"

"It's ok."

"What?"

"It's ok Stan. I had a feeling that this wasn't going to work out for much longer. I didn't want to act on it, just in case I was wrong. Yeah, I guess it hurts a little, but I'm glad you told me."

**She smiles at you and you really want to love her like you should but you don't, and you can't really help that.**

"Oh. Thanks I guess?" You breathe a sigh of relief and smile at her sadly.

"Well, I'd hate to come between you and Kyle." She grins at you slyly and how the fuck did she know.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm not an idiot Stan. You're not very good at hiding things. No offense." She giggles and wow this is going better than you thought it would.

"Oh. Um ok then. I think? I really am sorry Wendy."

She sighs at you.

"Well, if it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be." She shrugs and you almost do love her again for being so understanding. Almost.

She looks up at the clock.

"Oh my god! Stan I gotta go or I'll be late for journalism! See you later!"

You smile slightly as she dashes off before you realize that if you don't hurry up, you'll be late for gym, and run back down the hallway, making it to the locker rooms just before the bell rings.

**A/N: Wow, it's been forever since I've written anything, holy crap. Anyways, yeah. I wrote a thing and there might be more chapters later? I don't know I'm a pretty lazy person. Another thing, regarding this fanfic; one of my main goals here is to not make Wendy look like a man-eating bitch. I see it waaaay too often in fanfics and it's not something I'm fond of, so if I start to make her like that let me know, I'd love to hear your guys' suggestions because I'm an unimaginative asshole.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

As luck would have it, gym is the only period you have with Kyle. He's already dressed when you walk in.

"Dude what the hell? You were almost late!" He asks.

"Sorry, had to talk to Wendy."

"Jesus Stan, you guys have next period together, what was so important that you couldn't wait forty-five minutes?"

"We broke up."

"What? Dude I'm sorry."

"Don't be dude, it was mutual. I think anyways."

"Oh. Well, why?"

"I like someone else." Your heart drops into your stomach a you realize what you just said.

"Who?"

"Dude I'm not telling you!"

"Why not? I told you when I had that crush on Bebe that one time! And you told me that you liked Wendy!"

"That was different dude."

"Whatever, let's go."

Ordinarily you like gym, it's always been a relatively easy class for you, and you've never had to worry about it. However you don't like having it as your only class with Kyle, mainly because it's not an easy class to make conversation in. Normally you manage alright, due to your above-average physical condition, but today he's ever so slightly bitter towards you, and you can tell that you pissed him off by not telling him who you liked. (Even though it would have destroyed your entire friendship if you had.)

When the period's over he heads to the locker room without a word, and you're fuming, angry that he's so upset with you just because you won't tell him who you like.

**You get dressed without a single glance at your Super-Best-Friend, and head out of the locker room, without a word.**

You have Math next, with Wendy, Kenny and Bebe. You walk into the room, early for once, and slam your books down on the table.

"Trouble in paradise?" Comes a voice from next to you. You turn to face Kenny McCormick, who flashes a grin at you.

"Not really." You say, frowning.

"The usual then? You and Kyle had a little lovers' quarrel?"

"Shut up Kenny."

"Knew it." He chuckles and you punch him in the shoulder.

Bebe and Wendy walk in just then, Bebe gives you a cold glare and sits one seat away from you, Wendy occupies the vacant spot and smiles at you. Bebe throws you another disdainful look, and great, now she's pissed at you too.

Kenny raises an eyebrow at you and just as you're about to fill him in on your recent breakup, the bell rings and shit the teacher's reviewing what the upcoming test covers. You quickly scribble down what's on the board, and manage to get caught up.

Most of the class is spent with Bebe throwing you dirty looks, Wendy making small talk, and Kenny glancing at you with a somewhat concerned expression. You sigh in relief when the bell rings, gather up your notes and dash out the door.

Lunch is next, and normally you, Cartman, Kenny, and Kyle all go out to Sizzler to eat, opting for pizza instead of cafeteria glop, but Cartman's playing hookey, and Kyle's pissed at you, so chances are he's going to go somewhere with Kenny, so you get in your dad's old truck and decide to take the rest of the day off.

Upon arrival at your house you look at the time as if it were necessary. Your parents don't come home until hours after you get out of school, and with Shelly long gone to some college in Sacramento. You sigh and practically fall onto your couch, deciding that the homework you got from the few periods you actually went to can wait, and fall into a deep sleep.

**A/N: Hey Guys it's been awhile huh? So I've been without an internet connection for awhile, but hopefully Chapter 3 will be up soon. ((Also thanks for the reviews, I didn't expect anyone to actually read this, let alone like it. Like, wow.))**


	3. Chapter 3

You're awoken by a loud, persistent rapping on your door. Glancing up at the clock you realize that it's been almost four hours since you got home. With a yawn you reluctantly get up and throw open the door, shuddering as the cold air hits your warm body.

On your doorstep is a very annoyed Kyle, fiddling with one of the fiery curls surrounding his face.

"Dude, where the hell have you been?" He shouts at you, looking critically at your rumpled clothes, ditto hair.

"Sleeping." You shrug, suppressing a yawn.

"You were supposed to give me a ride home today, you ass!"

"Kenny has his own truck. Why didn't you just bum a ride from him?"

Kyle's face flushes with anger. "His truck is in the shop, remember? As a matter of fact, you were supposed to give him a ride today too!" He huffs, crossing his arms over his chest. "We had to walk home!"

"Shit dude, I'm so sorry." You kind of are, but it serves him right for getting so upset with you earlier over nothing.

Kyle sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Whatever dude." He sighs in resignation, and turns to leave. He stops when he gets to the last step on your porch though. "Oh yeah, sorry I got mad at you earlier today. I was being stupid." He says, turning back to face you. You know he's only saying that, but you also know that he doesn't like fighting with you anymore than you like fighting with him.

"It's fine, dude." You say. As he's turning back around to leave again, a wave of guilt hits you and you call out after him. "Hey Kyle?"

"Yeah?" He turns back around and you can't miss the bitter edge to his voice.

"Wanna come in and hang out? I think my mom has some hot chocolate mix somewhere... It'd probably help with the cold..."

He frowns and contemplates this, and you can tell he's still pretty pissed at you.

"Yeah, okay. I gotta call my mom though, so she doesn't worry."

"I figured. You know where the phone is."

"Duh." He grins at you, and even though you know he's still pissed at you, you grin back.

After a five minute phone call to Sheila Broflovski, filled with plenty of reassurances that he'll check up on Ike to make sure he's ok,(Each followed by an eye roll from Kyle.),and a long debate about whether or not he was going to stay the night. (Even though he wasn't planning on it, he is now.) Kyle flops down on the couch, and asks you to 'bring out some damn potato chips' while he channel surfs.

"Right away, your majesty." You say in an exaggerated English accent, and performing an equally exaggerated bow.

You barely dodge the pillow Kyle chucks at your head, and laugh as you walk into the kitchen.

You dig around in your pantry, trying to find some decent potato chips, and spend a good two minutes rooting through a dozen mini bags of barbecue flavored ones, before settling for the half empty bag of Cheetos on the top shelf.

You empty them into a large bowl and walk back into the living room to find Kyle bent over the stereo system, fiddling with the volume

"Dude, how is no one in your family deaf? You have this thing cranked up to hell." He asks.

"Technically hell is underground, so wouldn't that mean it's really low? And I don't know dude, my dad's the only one who actually watches TV down here."

Kyle shrugs. "Whatever dude, but if I start to lose my hearing, you're paying for my hearing aids."

You chuck a throw pillow at his face.

After finding out that there's absolutely nothing on tv, you decide to just watch a movie.

You decide to slip in a horror movie, even though you know Kyle hates them, he unknowingly moves towards you when he gets scared, and ok maybe it makes you a creep, but you enjoy the contact.

"No. ABSOLUTELY NOT. THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY I'M WATCHING THAT." Kyle screams at you.

"Dude, what's wrong with you? The Human Centipede isn't even that bad." You shrug.

Kyle stares at you as if you've grown a second head, his eyes wide. He looks as if he's on the verge of tears, and then you realize.

"Oh yeah, the thing with Apple..." You feel horrible, to say the least.

"Oh yeah the thing with Apple!" He repeats mockingly.

"Sorry." You mumble, focusing on your carpet.

Kyle sighs. "It's fine. Just, please pick a different movie."

"No problem. Anything you wanna watch?"

"Nah, as long as it's not... That." He shudders.

"Kay." You say, grabbing The Ring off of the shelf.

He rolls his eyes, but otherwise has no complaints.

About half an hour into the movie, Kyle is already almost halfway I'm your lap. The phone rings on the screen and he jumps.

Then the phone on the coffee table rings and he screams.

Laughing, you check the caller ID and wonder why the fuck your dad is calling you.

"Hello?"

"Hey Stan, your mom and I are gonna be home kinda late." The reception is shitty. Like, really shitty.

"How late?"

"Like tomorrow. Anyways Stan I gotta go. " Now why the fuck does he sound so urgent?

"What the fuck is that playing in the background?" You're referring to what sounds like jazz music playing softly.

But your dad already hung up, and now you have a very good idea of what they're doing.

After putting the phone back down you turn to look at Kyle to find him shaking.

You sit back down, and wrap your arms around him. Even though he's a few inches taller than you, he's a lot thinner, and combined with the wide eyes and shivering form, it's a lot like hugging a small child and wow you really want to kiss him.

A couple minutes later and his head is buried in your chest and it's Jesus Christ is it adorable.

A few more minutes later you start to feel damp spot form on your t-shirt.

Kyle's crying.

Shit.

You wrap your arms around him, and pull him closer. He's shaking now, worse than he was before. You slip your hands under his hat and run your fingers through his hair.

"Dude what's up?" You ask, really trying not to sound too concerned.

"I don't know, sorry I'm ruining the movie." He says, lifting his head and rubbing his eyes.

"It wasn't like I was actually watching it. Wanna watch something else?"

"Dude, you don't have to."

"Well I want to, so lets just watch tv."

"Thanks."

Kyle doesn't last very long though, within a few minutes he's asleep and oh god his head is in your lap.

Carefully you lift his head off of your lap, stretch out your legs and curl up around him.

You're asleep in minutes.

**A/N: Wow I probably should update more... (Actually this one's been in the works for awhile and I'm actually quite pleased with how it turned out?) Anyways the Human CentiPad reference was requested by a friend of mine. (Also it's a headcanon of mine that Kyle CAN NOT STAND horror movies. Like, at all. Mainly because he's lived the generic plot line of most of them?) I'm gonna be honest I'm not really sure where I'm going with this thing, but I'm glad that people are actually reading it and liking it? Like, I know I said that in the last A/N, but I still just ? Seriously though, thanks you guys are all serious babes.**


	4. Chapter 4

Typically Kyle, being a morning person, wakes up before you; So you're pleasantly surprised when you wake up in the next morning to find the ginger still tucked in your arms. Sighing happily, you pull him closer. You drift in and out of consciousness, but never quite fall back asleep.

"Stan..." Kyle moans; and at first you think he's awake, but when he makes no further noise you realize that he just fucking moaned your name in his sleep. You try not to get too excited over this, it's perfectly normal for people to dream about their friends right? That's probably all it was. You move your arms slightly because they're starting to fall asleep and-

Oh. That- That is an erection.

You're pretty sure that that isn't something that typically happens.

It's probably just morning wood though.

Except he just fucking moaned your name again. You really are trying to not get you hopes up but he's making it really fucking hard and wow you don't think you've ever tried so hard to not get hard, but he's also making that really hard too.

Why is everything so hard right now.

You decide that if you stick around much longer things are going to get harder, and if Kyle doesn't stop fucking moaning your name they're going to go from hard to sticky, neither of which would be good scenarios. Carefully you tug your left arm out from under him, and sigh in relief when he does little but stir slightly once you manage to break free. You tiptoe upstairs and into the bathroom and try not to think about the fact that Kyle Broflovski is possibly having a wet dream about you.

Of course you end up thinking about it anyways and sigh in resignation as you try to jerk off as quietly as possible. (You aren't normally loud but shit, he's right in the living room.)

Just as you finish washing your hands you hear Kyle frantically knocking on the bathroom door.

"Stan are you in here? Hurry up dude I gotta piss." He sounds frantic and given what you felt earlier you doubt he actually has to pee.

"Kay dude, one second." You reply, trying to shove the idea of Kyle jerking off in your bathroom out of your head.

When you reopen the door Kyle rushes in with a muttered "Thanks." And you hurry downstairs because you don't want to be a pervert and listen to him. (And also because getting another boner would be rediculous, not to mention inconvenient.)

A few minutes later Kyle comes back downstairs looking thoroughly embarrassed. You turn around and grin at him.

"Dude that took forever, how much did you drink last night?" You force a laugh and pat the space next to you on the couch.

He responds with an equally forced laugh and sits down. You notice he's sitting slightly farther from you than normal.

For the next couple hours the two of you watch old Terrence and Phillip reruns, (They're still funny to most of you, even though some have outgrown it, namely Craig Tucker and Token Black.) then calls and tells you that Kyle was supposed to be home by noon. You glance at your clock and holy shit when did five thirty happen. (You suppose waking up at noon in the first place helped.)

Within seconds Kyle is halfway out the door, seventeen years old and still terrified of his mother. He gives you a hurried apology and runs down the street to his house. (You can't help but linger until he's out of sight. In addition to basketball he also does track and field, one of the few sports you could never quite pull off.) You sigh and plop down on the couch and decide to text Kenny, you could use a drink right now.

I AM SO SORRY YOU DONT EVEN KNOW

I had the worst case of writer's block ever and all i have to show for the month and a half i spent trying to write this is a small chapter that is 90% boners

I am so incredibly sorry

Thank you for reading and expect drunk shenanigans soon


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